Beating around the Bushel
by Sean1596
Summary: The tale of a rogue Zora being hunted down by everyone and their mothers and his misguided companion who broke away from the cycle that ruled Hyrule for nearly 4000 years.
1. Chapter 1: They Call Him Hiro

**Author's Note**: _Well…apparently you guys all loved my first little endeavor into the fan-fiction world, but I don't know if I'm going to finish that. Sure, I will eventually, but not now. Now, it's time to delve into Zelda! Welcome to…Beating around the Bushel! And by the by, I was told by my good friend Sir Starlll [who I know in real life] to write this story. Blame it on him, boys, girls, and Zora._

_Disclaimer: Nintendo owns the Legend of Zelda franchise. However, all characters devised from their previously stated mechanics are my own._

**Chapter One: They Call Him Hiro**

It was a regular day in the kingdom of Hyrule. Actually, scratch that statement entirely. Hyrule is never normal, considering the kinds of odd things that occur. For example, did you a megalomaniac somehow manages to resurrect himself every century or so? Or, did you know a descendent of some great hero always manages to come and defeat this guy? I mean, what kind of messed up kingdom is this place? But that's beside the point; let's actually focus on a regular denizen of Hyrule, instead of the driving force. Hey; maybe you'll like it.

"I swear upon the Good Goddess Din that I am not a criminal, my good man!" A mysterious bellowed across the tavern, trying to prove its innocence. "Where would you ever conjure up such a notion?"

"Enough fancy talk, wise guy," the tavern owner grunted, stroking his mustache. He was relatively muscular, but the mustache made him seem more like a Rico Suave than an Arnold Schwarzenegger. "I know you're messing with me; I've seen enough drunken morons in my life to know that."

"Are you inquiring that I am drunk, tavern owner? I assure you that I have not drunk any alcohol this evening!"

Before the disgruntled tavern owner could actually respond to the fellow's comment, the doors busted upon. Into the tavern came two guards. One was a skinny, tall one who had a clean, unshaven face. He was the young and free one. The other was burly, had a potbelly, and had a long beard. Obviously, he was the older of the pair. The burly one spoke first. "Ok, Reginald, what is all the fuss about?"

"Oh, thank the goddesses," the tavern owner remarked, secretly happy he was going to bust another criminal. It was a hobby of his. "Sir, this…man says that he is not a criminal. But, the wanted poster says another thing. Take a look!"

The two guards examined the poster. The man in it had scaly skin, a smooth face with a long nose, and blue skin tone. He was relatively skinny, but he had muscles. What he was depicted doing was actually attacking three guards simultaneously. Finally, the young one spoke. "Hey, Harold…this guy is…you don't think…?"

The fat one gasped. "Oh my dear lord…it's the Zora outlaw, Hiro!"

Before anyone could react, the Zora pushed the two men out of his way and ran out the door. "You shall never take alive, my guards! Zora speed cannot be matched, but if you wish, we shall engage in a duel!"

* * *

He had ran a few miles until he was in the fields. The Zora, whose name was Hiro as the guard screamed, was finally letting the guards catch up to him. The sun was still high in the sky, but he feared that night would overtake him. "If those skeletons come up again, I swear to-" He stopped, seeing the guards.

They were both panting. "So you finally wish to fight, eh Hiro?" The skinny one blurted out, the lust for combat in his eyes. "By golly…I've never fought someone as famous as you!"

"Cut the crap, James," the burly one grunted, still mad that he collapsed in the middle of his running. Age was definitely taking a toll on him. "You do not look at outlaws in awe. You defeat them, and then you look in awe as they struggle for mercy."

"Yes sir. I should have never said anything in the first place."

Hiro was getting a bit bored with the two. "Can we fight now or what? I'm bloodthirsty, baby!"

The talking coming to halt, the skinny one drew his sword and lunged at the Zora. Hiro jumped back to avoid the hit, and the guard fell to the ground. Quickly gaining his composure back, he sliced at the Zora, eventually getting a clean hit on his chin. "I have gotten a direct shot, Zora!"

As the guard cheered, the Zora disappeared out of sight. As the guard pondered where the Zora had gone too, Hiro appeared right behind him, his fists armed and ready. "James, look out!" The burly guard screamed, hoping his comrade would react.

"Yes sir…" The skinny guard began to say, until Hiro grabbed him and threw him to the ground. Lying upon the ground, the Zora punched repeatedly until blood was gushing from his cheeks. Barely breathing, Hiro jumped up and went into a finishing dropkick. Just as his death-blow arrived, the guard commented, "Well, at least I went down with one hit on an elusive Zora!" And then, the guard was dead.

"May the Goddesses send you to the dark side of the Sacred Realm, fiend!" The burly guard screamed, then hitting Hiro down to the ground. Drawing his lost comrade's sword, he pulled out his on and threw the dead guard's sword to Hiro. "Well, I might as well take you down with an even arrangement. Go ahead, fight!"

"Well…you are going to regret ever giving me a sword, my good man!" Hiro drew the sword, and then dashed towards the guard. In a flash he was behind him, and soon the man's arm fell off, barely circulating flesh. As the guard screamed, Hiro used all his strength to throw the man up, and then he stabbed him in the stomach to finish him off.

"Well…you m-may be an outlaw," the guard struggled to say, "b-but you are g-good fighter at that retrospect." And with that, the guard breathed his last breath, and died.

And so, before night came upon Hyrule, Hiro buried the two guards. Before he ran off, he said, "The skeletons won't get me tonight!"

* * *

Entering the tavern, a taller Zora quickly held his sword to the tavern keeper's throat. "So…where's my brother, Hiro?"

* * *

**Author's Note**: _Well, it may have not have been the best exposition, but it was a pretty good introduction to Hiro's journey. Well, see ya later for the next chapter!_


	2. Chapter 2: The Brothers United

**Author's Note**: _Hey, guys! Sorry I haven't been here in a while…my computer killed itself, and then I lost my motivation to write. It's kind of sad, considering I had up to chapter five for this story done, but…well, at least I'm back! After about four months, we are about to resolve the cliffhanger in Beating Around the Bushel!_

_Disclaimer: Nintendo owns the Legend of Zelda franchise. However, all characters devised from their previously stated mechanics are my own._

**Chapter Two: The Two Brothers United**

"I'm telling you, I have no idea who you are talking about!" The bartender screeched, in a futile attempt to escape from his new captor. He wasn't supposed to know what was going on, even though he had a relatively good idea. He just wanted to stay quiet; you know, for his own good. "And even if I did, I would tell you already, right? Isn't that logical?"

This new Zora quickly began to push the sword much harder on the bartender's throat, exerting the pressure in all the delicate spots. He was getting the information…even if he had to take a life or two. "Are you trying to be difficult? Hiro Okinsiwa is his name, and from my sources, he was here about two hours ago. He even killed two guards right outside, too. Now, are you going to tell me where he fled to or not?"

The bartender then punched the Zora, and got him to briefly let his sword get off of his neck. Then, struggling for air, he spoke. "Hiro? Oh, he was in here a bit ago. I don't know where he necessarily went, but he probably went for the castle. If not, he could be anywhere. I honestly don't know where he went; but, he couldn't have gone that far. Wait…if you state that you are Hiro's brother, then that makes you-"

Before he could finish his sentence, the Zora impaled him in the chest, and let him fall down behind his post. The Zora then jumped out the door, muttering, "Yes, I am the brother of Hiro, the one who must not be named. In any case, you think that you can get defeat me with a punch? I'm immensely powerful, and even getting rid of that factor, you wouldn't beat me!" and then ended up laughing with no remorse as he disappeared into the night.

A skeleton jumped up onto Hiro's back, with one sword in another skeleton and the next one about to reciprocate the favor upon the new member to the duel. "You cannot ever defeat us, Zora scum!" The skeleton screamed, scratching at Hiro until the second sword sent him flying into the sky, never to come back.

With the remaining skeleton skewered by the sword, Hiro decided to throw away the façade of anger and just drag the sword out of the skeleton. With one swoop, the sword came out and the skeleton fell to the ground, with the bones disintegrating upon touch with the ground. It seemed that Hiro had just committed murder, but he paid no attention to it. In fact, didn't he just do it like four hours ago? It wasn't a big deal; Hiro was not the type of guy to make a big deal out of nothing.

* * *

The sun started to rise out of the sky, and Hiro finally looked satisfied with his current situation. "Ah, the night has ended," he remarked, grasping his two swords once again and sheathing them once more. With the swords now sheathed upon his back, he decided to head to the castle village, to stock up for the coming journey. He had recently heard of a kill that would be quite good, although it was shocking: a mysterious man wanted a mercenary to kill the Goron guard of the Dodongo's Cavern, and then aggravate the Dodongos. Hiro was up for the task; anything for cash would be fun.

After running towards the castle town's gate, which was wide open, Hiro began to step in. However, a familiar voice echoed through his head at that exact moment. "Hello, brother. Are you going somewhere that may give me worries about your condition?" Could this be? Did Hiro's brother finally catch up to him? Was the jig going to finally end in a decaying, wrecked disaster?

"Brother, why do you consult me at this point?" Hiro began to draw his sword, as he sensed increased tension coming from his brother's side. His dad was ready for him to come back, but the thing is, he didn't want to come back; he was fine. "Are you attempting to turn me into the authorities? Or is it to father? If it is following the latter's perspective, then just drop it at this current time. Father does not need me, and I do not need father. Now, shall we duel or not?"

Hiro's brother then got a running start, and flew into the air like a soaring hawk. He came darting toward \Hiro, prepared to attack. "I thought you would never ask, brother Hiro!" A spinning kick then came from his brother's side, but Hiro countered the attack with his sword. The impact that ensued caused an explosion of dust so big that people in the Kokiri Village could see it.

* * *

A young adventurer had just escaped from his domain; a fairy flew along his side, busily chattering as the adventurer ignored him. It seemed that this fairy would never stop talking, and the adventurer noticed that he really wanted plugs for his ears. The gateway to the fields was just ahead, with a whole new journey ahead of him; his quest to save the land from chaos was just about to occur. New times and experiences would come, and challenges would rise. However,** someone** had to ruin that. "Hoo hoot! Link... Look up here! It appears that the time has finally come for you to start your adventure!"

As if the Sacred Goddesses were mocking him, the adventurer, who from this point on we shall refer to as Link, wished he could curse at the owl who was pointing out the obvious. He was said to be quite a wise owl, with his brown feathers in a bunch and a unibrow combed to perfection, but Link just thought he was a pain. The sad thing is, Link couldn't react with words, being as he was muted and was cursed by fate to only respond with predetermined answers. _Are you kidding me? _Link thought, his anger flustering. _I go through an ancient tree's body, fight off a freaking mutated spider that craps out babies, and have to know that the hottest girl in the village loves me but that I can't ever reciprocate because love doesn't exist with the Kokiri just to endure this guy's speech? Screw my life._

The owl then continued his speech, boring Link to death. "You will encounter many hardships ahead... That is your fate. Don't feel discouraged, even during the toughest times! Go straight this way and you will see Hyrule Castle. You will meet a princess there... If you are lost and don't know which way to go, look at the Map. Do you understand this predicament? Respond with a yes or a no."

Link's mind then processed the responses with no in front of yes and yes below no. Quickly, he picked the first option. "Oh, I must explain it again. Link, listen harder this time, ok?" Link was infuriated; he just got the owl to repeat what he already said. His life was getting harder and harder it seemed. And he then, he finally cracked and spoke, breaking the curse that he was led to believe existed but really didn't.

"You know what, Mr. *Gay-Boar-a *Gay-Boar-a?" He started to say, taking his slingshot out and preparing to fire a stone at the owl. "I'm sick of your crap; you attempt to teach me, when in reality you are just repeating everything you said just for a sick laugh. Well, time to pay for your crimes!"

And then, with a single pull of the band, the stone bullet flew like light. It then made a successful collision with the owl, hitting it right in the eyes. And with that, the owl was dead, lying around in a bloody pulp. The fairy ran away, scared of what she had seen, and left the adventurer to his business. And as Link cheered as all the annoyances were gone, a somewhat omniscient voice spoke and let business be business. "**Finally, this game isn't going to drive me insane!**"

* * *

Coming out of the explosion, Hiro's brother flew up from the rubble and grabbed Hiro's sword. He managed to walk around it without falling, even though the impact was pretty big. "It seems I have finally won the battle, brother. You have lost! Now, to take you back to the father is the next order of business. How to do that, I wonder…"

However, before he could finish that sentence, a punch came out of the rubble and sent Hiro's brother flying into the air. "That's for questioning the probability of whether I survived the attack, brother!" Hiro pushed himself off of the two rocks, and then prepared to come at his brother. After something like that, it was only obvious that he had to attack again to show his superiority. "Now, it is time to end this petty conflict and resolve our own matters, isn't it?"

As Hiro came towards his brother, ready to punch his face, his brother grasped his fist and flipped him over. He then pushed himself off the ground, coming with his sword to impale Hiro from an aerial perspective. Hiro blocked that incoming assault with his two swords, and sent his brother back a bit. Running towards him with great speed, he jumped to the side and then ran towards his back. Hiro's brother then twisted, striking back at the two swords coming at his back with great speed. He then spun the sword around, harnessing the energy of the water vapor in the air, and then sent it back in the form of a water dragon surrounding his sword. "Now do you think learning black magic from the Witches was a bad idea now, Hiro?" Hiro's brother remarked, obviously mocking him. "I can knock you out with a dragon formed from the water from just the air! How does that sound?"

Before Hiro could react, an odd voice responded. "It sounds great, after I chop you two up into pieces!" The voice came from a strange machine, with Hiro recognized as the guard's primary assault vehicles. They could chase you for miles, days even, just trying to catch any miscreants on the run. This fight attracted one of a tough nature, and Hiro knew it was going to be an intense fight. "Now, what do you say to that?"

Hiro then looked at his brother, and after his brother dispersed the water dragon for the time being, they agreed to attack. Hiro then screamed as he and his brother went at the machine, "I say that you are about to be slaughtered, my good man!" The three swords they possessed then went at the machine, slicing at it at an immensely fast speed as they landed upon the ground right behind the machine. Hiro's brother then spat at the ground, impressed with the attack but getting rid of some flem. At that moment, the machine broke into three pieces, falling upon their sides. A cockpit was upon the ground as well, but they didn't check for life; it was obvious the pilot was dead.

They then decided to resume the fight, and soon Hiro jumped back at his brother. "Let us finish this duel!"

However, before they could continue the fighting, a young man wearing some green clothing, including a pointed hat and some green jeans, started staring at them. His sword was pointed straight at them, and he was ready to fight. "So, you two are the legendary heirs to the Zora throne, Hiro Okinsiwa and Villan Okinsiwa?"

* * *

**Author's Note**: _See what I did there? In any case, it seems that the newly rogue Link has discovered Hiro and the recently-named brother of Hiro, Villan, during one of their duels. Well, this should be interesting. Anyway, see you in the next chapter!_

***misspelled intentionally**


End file.
